Sunday, July 3, 2011

Lazy Sunday Musings

There's nothing better than working in retail on a Sunday... except perhaps if you were hungover but I think even then time would go faster because your brain is less active. It gives you time to think at least. To sneak around the work computer, catch up on scrabble with friends, try and beat the impossibly high score your boyfriend recently achieved on fruit ninja... but nothing very productive. Especially during uni holidays. All it does is make you aware of how tired you are, how sore your feet are, and how rude people can be. Excellent.

I'm looking forward to the day when I can enjoy a full Saturday - Sunday weekend. As it stands for my current "holidays"I'm going Emirates style and having Friday, Saturday weekends. The whole business of growing up is extremely tiring. Firstly, no one tells you when you leave school employees are only interested in you if you did Law, Business, or Media. NO ONE! What's wrong with majoring in politics?! How is that not vocational. I could totally advise companies on the best way to diplomatically attempt to challenge their besties emerging company. As it is I am advising my friend of the best way to establish a new society and have a minimal effect on the existing society - remaining friends and even partners. Needless to say she hasn't listened and it looks to all like her society won't even get a foot of the ground but whatevs. I tried.

Secondly, once you find a vocational degree, recently I chose Law - as a politics student, I don't really believe in the economy so business wouldn't have really been the most engaging degree, you then have to pull your finger out and find a job that relates. Like a para-legal. I am lucky enough to have found a job as a paralegal, but it's so stressful. Perhaps it's because I've only done one core law subject, and possibly bombed the exam. But 90% of the time I have no idea what is going on, and am in constant fear of letting my boss down/her thinking I'm an idiot. Both of which are equally humiliating. And also it's very hard to study when you have uni and work 9-5. Any motivation is taken over by exhaustion.

Finally, you constantly feel like you are doing it wrong. For instance - why are all my friends going away for months on end and I have just enrolled myself in another 3 years of uni. Time is seemingly my worst enemy. There's never enough of it. I always feel it's slipping away - not in a day by day way but in general. Maybe it's that underlying pressure I think most girls feel, that whether your thinking about it now or not you should have a baby before your 35 or your baby will be disabled, you need a job too, a successful one to prove you no longer rely on men. And when you have all that, you have to choose which you want more, because apparently you can only have one or the other or your a bad mother (which I think is total crap, but this is the general vibe... that I feel). I mean should we be growing up and saving all that is good for life to retirement? Or do we have to grow up at all? Is using all your annual leave each year irresponsible or living? Can you take a 'gap year' from your career later in life, when you actually have the money to do what you want? Does gender really matter that much any more or does deterination?

Yeah... good rant. Anyway small progress report on my creative side. Totally failed at knitting. i was knitting away the other day and dropped a stitch. "No dramas I can just YouTube how to fix that" then I examined my scarf closely and I appear to have creatively, if nothing else, begun to turn a single row of stitches into two rows, in the middle of that one row. Even a grandma can't fix that! In other news I did succesfully make buttercream icing, dye it tiffany blue and then fail to make a swirl that encompassed the whole cupcake. But I did swirl. See I have evidence...

Anyway, back to life as a really slow gift wrapper in retail. The soles of my feet are stating the ache, I can feel the varacose vains rising beneath my skin. And now I will idle away the time thinking about how I can inform my gorgeous boss I am leaving to pursure my butting legal career, little lauren - paralegal.